Today I will tell you an idea that changed my life. I hope it can affect yours too, great if it will work. But like any idea, it requires background. So let's go back to the past, to my school.
Third desk, history lesson. I feel like something wet is flying right in my neck. I didn't immediately realize what it was until it happened again and again. My classmates spit paper at me. At that moment, I experienced absolutely the wildest shame, humiliation, horror and fear. I sat at my desk and imagined that there were 25 people around me. I heard them giggle. I knew that one of them was spitting paper at me, there were dozens of such cases. I was bullied for two years, but each time, even in the most difficult situations, I imagined that I was hiding the real me right here, in my heart, that I was safe there.
To some extent, this helped me to survive, and when I entered the classroom and saw how my things were lying on the floor, I picked them up, put them on my desk and sat down in my place. Once, in the cafeteria, my classmate deliberately pushed a weak girl to spill tea on me. Everyone saw it, everyone sat and watched with interest what would happen next. I also watched. The girl spilled tea on me. Then I got up, took my glass of tea, went to a classmate who was pushing, and poured tea on her head.
Two years of persecutions stopped, and it seemed to me that no one had broken me. But I was wrong, it wasn't fine. Until the age of 33, I was tormented by panic attacks, I woke up, and every day it was as if I was going to school again. And even at planning meetings in my agency with my team, sometimes I looked into the faces of the guys and saw the faces of classmates. I kept waiting for some kind of trick.
I worked with a psychoanalyst. I managed to rebuild my head and get back to normal. But I was still broken. I became normal, I became afraid to express my opinion. I was afraid that they would again condemn me, humiliate me, that they would not understand me, would not accept me. I began to dress normally, hide my bright ideas, not express them at all, and even on social networks I wrote in such a way as not to cause the slightest criticism and any dispute.
More than anything, I wanted to reclaim myself, I wanted to be brave, I wanted to express ideas, to speak to the world. I really wanted to get up in the morning and live greedily, and not think, and not look back at the fact that they would humiliate me, or they would not accept me again. I had the feeling that something had been taken away from me, that I was not living my life. I was looking for a solution, and it came from a very unexpected direction.
I have an advertising agency. I have been running advertising projects for seven years. This is management, this is business, this is a lot of complex and interesting things. And at some point I thought that what if I put these things on my life, just trying the idea of business projects.
The project is initially conceived as a success. Nobody creates a business so that it is mediocre, nothing. In life, we often think that we are afraid that if we put forward an idea, they will not understand us, we will be criticized. Business occupies new niches, puts forward new ideas, and one is not afraid to be at a large-scale.
If we look at the bright, interesting and strong people of this world, we will notice this pattern. They act like grandiose projects, they are not afraid of criticism, they put forward their ideas, they capture new niches, new territories, and other people join them.
To act like a business project, you have to think like a business project, like a grand project. In business, everything is interconnected. Good marketing will not work if there is no sales force. Any advertisement can be destroyed by a bad product. And even a very cool team will not work if the processes are not built.
The same is true in our lives. If you imagine your business and your grandiose life project in the form of a star, then it will look like this. Management is at the center. These are the processes that we choose to organize our time, prioritize, understand what will be good for us and what will be bad. We know how to manage the processes in our lives so that we have enough time not only for business and everyday life, but also for family and joy, for rest, for entertainment, for good emotions.
The next direction is the mind, this is our psyche, this is how we think, this is what forbids us sometimes to move forward, this is what prevents us from being rich and famous, speaking loudly and looking at this world with open eyes. Therefore, I often say that some things need to be worked out with a psychologist.
The next direction of the grandiose project is our body, and this is not at all about being the most beautiful. It's about being healthy, about being in harmony. It's how you sleep, how you eat, and how you exercise. Do you have a lot of physical activity and are you friends with your body in principle, do you accept it.
The next direction is our capital, this is our money, this is our financial stability in the future. This is what we invest in ourselves: education, reputation. This includes the capital of our children as well, and a personal brand, if you want it.
The next direction is the last, but not least. These are values, these are our family, our relatives and friends, our roots, our hobbies, travel, some kind of nonsense that gives us joy, and without which our life will be completely different, insipid.
All this is very important for the project to work correctly. And in the very center is the main button, this is the heart. The heart is our uniqueness, it is who we really are and what makes us us. The most important thing is to act in your own interests and do what you want.
I will give you now 5 business principles, 5 directions that can help you get started. The first is very important, treat yourself and your life as a grand project. Projects are immediately conceived on a large scale. When you think like a person, you are afraid that if you do not cope, you will be judged, as if you become a loser in this situation. But if you think like a project, you act calmly. Try new things, connect a new option in your life, just as easily turn them off and move on. Act like a project.
When you treat yourself as a person, then any failure, any mistake is taken personally. It seems to you that you did not cope, something is wrong with you. When we think as if our life is a grandiose project, we more easily connect some new tasks, try something new. And we are calm about the fact that something goes wrong, because this is normal in the project.
When we look at ourselves as a person, of course we are very worried. Acting as a project removes this importance and tension, and you can already calmly do your business, scale your life and try new things. The second point is to allow yourself to be wrong.
In the world of people, it is generally very scary to make mistakes. If you started your life on a Monday, you didn’t succeed, there were many such Mondays, you went on a diet, and it didn’t work out for you, you tried some hobbies and quit, new jobs, relationships. It doesn’t matter that you are called frivolous, careless, there are still a lot of different terms.
In projects, the opposite is true. We at the advertising agency launch new hypotheses every two weeks in each project, because death for a project is not testing ideas and hypotheses, not understanding what the connection is. When you look at your life as a grand project, you allow yourself to make mistakes, and you try new things. And if you don't succeed, you don't say, "Oh, I made a mistake, I'm a failure." You say: "It's okay, the hypothesis didn't work, we're trying a new one," and you calmly move on.
Successful people live like this. We hear some happy stories about how everyone did it, but we absolutely do not know what is left under the hood, because in order to achieve something, you need to try a lot, and a lot of it will not suit us. Therefore, allow yourself to be mistaken officially and treat it calmly, say “yes” to opportunities.
When we are a person, we think: “So I can let someone down, I won’t succeed, they offered me something, but suddenly I can’t do it.” When you think like a big project and feel the same way about your life, you think, “Well, this is a new opportunity, cool! I might be able to scale, it will help me grow!” Remember that you can make mistakes, this is the most thrill.
The fourth point is "Play it loud." I'm going to tell you a story from my psychoanalyst, it really affected me a lot. Imagine a cardboard house in which
brother and sister come in. And the sister occupies the whole territory and says to her brother: "Here only I will play, and you leave." What a brother should do? He can say to his sister: "You are bad", he can quarrel, he can burst into tears, accept everything as it is. But the brother acts completely differently, he starts playing his game next to his sister's house. He creates some kind of world, he voices it all very loudly, everything is very interesting, everything is very exciting - so much that at some point the sister comes out of her house and starts playing with him. And of course, she invites him to this house.
So, you don't have to wait for an invitation from other people, you don't have to wait for permission to do something. Start playing loud now, and you don't have to launch rockets into space or be Elon Musk. It doesn't work like that. You can start posting your stories online and find some of your guys who will be interested. You can simply create handmade things, because you have long wanted to involve your family in this - this is also playing loudly. You can organize a running club in your area and find your people. You can just start doing what you want, and that's really where you should start. But most importantly, we must remember that important is our heart, our button, which lights up everything. Therefore, the fifth and most important point: do what you love. Do what you really want.
How to understand it? Everything is simple. Remember what you dreamed about as a child, what inspired you? When you think about your desire, your dream, how do you feel? When you think about your dream, it is as if a generator with additional energy is connected to you. You want to jump up and run and act immediately. When you think about something other than your dream, you begin to sabotage, you play for time. You have plenty of reasons not to do, and something always goes wrong.
Think about what you love and start doing it. And remember that sometimes you can really be in the wrong place with the wrong people. It happens. When I was in my third grade at that school, I didn't know what my life would be like. I could have chosen the path that my classmates suggested to me: being spat on by paper. But I chose a different path. I treated my life as a grand project. And you know, now I am a very happy person, I have an amazing family, I have two businesses, I have written a book, and I am writing a second one. I have lived in three countries, and every morning I wake up with a wild desire to live. I am interested in living every day. I flirt with this world. I really want you to do the same, because you don't have to be someone special to do it. All you need is to enable your most important buttons.
Remember about your heart, about who you really are, connect 5 directions so that they all work: not only direct forces to work, but also remember that there are values, capital and form connections with people. I already told you everything. You need to accept for yourself that all the doors of this world are open for you. Only you decide how to live your life, and remember that all the stars are in your hands.
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